Transcript of the Only Known Surviving Episode of the URL with Phred Show
[A morphing blue pixelated background plays for a split second before transitioning to a parody of the AOL loading screen, with the URL with Phred Show ''logo in the top, 3 orange hexagons in the center, and a line displaying the progress in the bottom] Female Computer Voice: ''Dialing... animation of Phred walking appears in the first hexagon Initializing... ''animation of Phred running (obviously a parody of the AOL Running Man) appears in the second hexagon ''Connecting... ''of Birthday Boy and Noggimation Boy play in said order in the third hexagon ''Checking password... ''of one of the Whats and Skengle and Skengle play in said order in the third hexagon ''Receiving. ''animation of Phred dancing appears in the third hexagon loading screen transitions into an animation with many circles of different colors and various combinations of the numbers "1" and "0" and the letters "p" and "h", as well as "URL" zooming in rapidly on a purple background Big Voice: ''It's crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside, animation transitions to another blue pixelated background with "noggin.com" in dark blue letters in the center and definitely doesn't taste like chicken; dot in "noggin.com zooms in to reveal various rapidly zooming blue backgrounds with blue, white and orange-based hexagon and circle-based patterns with the Noggin logo and various stills placed in several circles before finally stopping at a hexagon with a Noggin user's pixelated face It's... Noggin user's face becomes un-pixelated Noggin User: It's the URL with Phred Show. [The screen then transitions to other Hexagons with URL ''characters inside them, starting with both of the Whats and then Skengle and Skengle, before finally transitioning to a hexagon containing Phred's living room with Phred walking around cheerfully] Phred: And I'm Phred with a- Ah... screen zooms in on Phred's face Ah... screen zooms in some more Ah..begins to bulge Ah-choo! screen rapidly zooms out back to the living room as Phred says, "choo!"; Phred un-bulges before falling to the ground face-first Big Voice: ''Really? I thought you were Phred with a P-H. Phred: up Oh, you're a regular comedian, Big Voice. Anyway, we got a big '''screen rapidly zooms in and then out on Phred as he says "big" show for you today. As a matter of fact, screen zooms in on Phred once again 'big 'rapidly bulges and un-bulges as he says "big" is way too small a word to describe today's show. screen zooms out again as Phred walks to the other side of the room while talking Eh... A better word would be.. Uh.. Well, really, 'really '''big. screen zooms in then out on Phred again while he says "really", then the screen zooms in on Phred's lower face as he says "really big.", with Phred bulging and then un-bulging as he says "big." screen zooms out once again Big Voice: ''That's 3 words, Phred, and one of them is still "big". Phred: ears and body droop What's your point, BV? turns slightly, then the screen zooms back in on him Don't answer that. screen zooms back out, then Phred un-droops and walks towards the screen as he speaks Instead, allow 'moi '''to answer one of your questions. walks backwards, away from the screen as he speaks Big Voice, pick an email. '''Any '''email. Big Voice: ''Well, Phred, it appears that Kellsie, Ben, ''starts walking around the room ''J.J., Andrea, Gina, Becca, Alex, Chelsie, Sarah, Jessica, and Marina have all ''stops walking, then sits down on the ground ''emailed you the very same question. Phred: up, then the screen zooms in on him Hit me! screen zooms back out Big Voice: "What are you, Phred?!" 'walks to the side of the room as Big Voice says this sound of a record skipping plays, then a close-up shot of the room appears, with Phred coming into view from below the screen Phred: "What am I"? screen zooms in on him as he says this close-up room shot appears with Phred walking into view from the side Phred: "What... am... I"? screen again zooms in on him as he says this normal shot of the room appears with Phred standing in the middle Phred: '"WHAT AM I"?! 'screen once again zooms in as he says this screen zooms out Phred: I am nothing but a true-blooded, unadulterated, 100% pure-bred- screen flashes as he says "pure-bred", followed by a crashing sound and a shot of the room with a massive hole in the right wall with rubble laying around it '''AAAAAH! MY GOD, 'screen zooms in on Phred' WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?! 'screen zooms out, and then Phred runs off TV screen appears with another Noggin user in it, then a close up shot of the TV screen appears Noggin User: So, Big Voice, what is 'he? Big Voice: ''I'm afraid we may never know. ''TV screen disappears and then a normal shot of the room appears ''I'm. Afraid. We. May. Never. Know. screen zooms out to reveal the various hexagon and circles, then the screen moves to an animation of Phred dancing on top of a pickle that's on top of a blue Noggin logo [The episode of Doug plays] screen transitions to a mock computer window with a video of a huge crowd of kids Crowd: We love you, Doug Funnie! Big Voice: He loves you too. And he'll be right back. morphing blue screen from the beginning plays morphing screen plays again, this time with one of the Skengles giggling in the background; The screen then transitions to Skengle and Skengle on their spaceship Blue Skengle: Greetings, humanoids. We need to know what you think about in order to understand this planet you call... "Eee-erth". Skengle does random stuff as Blue Skengle says this screen transitions to Phred Phred: That's "Earth". screen transitions back to the Skengles Blue Skengle: Ah, heh, heh-heh. You see? we 'do '''need your help. So please log on to noggin.com right now to answer this "question-icus." presses a button, then the screen moves over to the poll, and the Skengles appear in a circle in the bottom left-hand corner; The poll says, "skengle poll/LIVE @ NOGGIN.COM/question-icus from:/pigpoke, TX" Female Computer Voice: ''Question transmitting. noises play Blue Skengle: Interesting. We will transmit your "thoughtifications" on this "poll-icus" later in the show. Female Computer Voice: Now receiving data. noises play, then the blue morphing screen appears once again morphing screen appears again, giving way to the hexagon and circle pattern, which is displaying the following characters: First, Birthday Boy, then the Skengles, the Whats, and the character DJ Ray from Radio Noggin, before finally arriving at Phred's living room once again; The director is speaking as all this happens Director: ''Phred, where are you? Phred? Hey, Skengles. Phred, where are you? Hey, Whats, what's up? Phred? Hello? Where are you? Phred, '''where are you?!'' Phred: Off-screen Go, go, go. video of the Ewe plays, then Phred laughs as the director speaks Director: Very funny, Phred. Phred: in from the right Now you know how I 'feel. morphing screen once again plays morphing screen plays, transitioning to a shot of Phred's living room with two gray foot-shaped marks on his rug Director: ''OK, ''Dress Phred ''is up. Where's the live outfit? Director's Assistant: Right here. I got it. ''walks in from the right Director: ''Places, Phred. ''steps onto the foot marks Phred: All-righty, I'm ready for ya. Dress me. jumps from side to side as he says "Dress me." blue hexagon-shaped title bar appears in the bottom-left hand corner that says, "noggin.com/STYLE: PHRED'S PAST/DESIGNER: PUCKIE" as the computer voice speaks Female Computer Voice: ''Outfit downloaded. outfit faintly appears on Phred's body Phred: '''Nice. Thanks, kid designer name below. Can you say, "Supermodel"? Big Voice: Supermodel. Phred: Very funny, BV. Keep your designs coming outfit and "STYLE: PHRED'S PAST/DESIGNER: PUCKIE" disappear at noggin.com. morphing screen plays morphing screen plays again, giving way to the hexagon/circle pattern displaying the Whats and various Noggin users before zooming out significantly, then zooming in to Phred's living room, this time with all of the characters; As all of this is happening, the director is speaking Director: OK, people. Let's get ready for the next set. Everybody, let's do this. '' Director's Assistant: ''In 3... 2... Director: Wait a minute. What is everybody doing here? This isn't a close. Wait, is it? '''Somebody, get me my rundown sheet!' morphing screen plays morphing screen plays again, this time transitioning to Birthday Boy chewing cake while standing behind a messy kitchen counter with a red balloon that says, "Happy Birthday" and staring at the screen Birthday Boy: with his mouth full This is good cake. Phred: Off-screen ''Uh, birthday boy, Boy looks off to the left of the screen I hate to disturb you... '''But it's birthday time!' Birthday Boy: back at the screen, still with his mouth full It is? Hit it! Boy walks to the right of the room, still chewing his cake; Phred and Birthday Boy begin to sing while Phred's outfit mistakenly appears for a second or two before disappearing to make way for the names, which appear very faintly on the blue background, unintelligible, and begin to scroll down Phred: ''*This song means it's your birthday* Birthday Boy: *It means you were born today* Phred: Well, not today per se, 'cause if you were born today, you'd still be in the maternity ward and in no condition to be watching a live TV show, and... I digress. Phred and Birthday Boy: *Today is your birthday* Phred: *So while you pack your birthday cake in* Phred and Birthday Boy: *Unwrap presents and enjoy* Phred: *Check out your name, it's on the wall* Birthday Boy: The birthday wall! Big Voice: *Phred, you've got a call* Phred: Could you take a message, BV? I'm right in the middle of the Birthday Song! Where was I? Oh yeah! Phred and Birthday Boy: *We haven't got a card design or some fancy gifts for you(?)* Ewe baas in the background Phred: Not '''Ewe. '''Well, unless, of course, it's '''your '''birthday, Ewe. Phred: *Oh, happy happy birthday* Phred and Birthday Boy: *To you and you and you* Birthday Boy: his mouth still full *We hope you've seen your name by now, but* Phred: *We're coming to the end* But if you haven't, it's probably 'cause you didn't send your info in to noggin.com. So log on and then type in your birthday where it says, "type in your birthday"... Phred and Birthday Boy: *And then just click on send!* Phred, Birthday Boy, and Big Voice:'' *Oh, happy birthday!*'' music ends and then the names disappear morphing screen plays morphing screen plays again, this time giving way to another mock computer window with the crowd of children from before cheering Big Voice: Now back to Doug. Oooh. Go, Doug, go. window disappears, giving way to the blue morphing screen [The episode of Doug ''plays] morphing screen plays again, this time giving way to Phred's living room, Where Phred is jumping around and making weird noises Phred: Teekatook! Tookateekatock! Tookateekateekatow! Tookateekato... Big Voice: ''Uh... We interrupt... Whatever it is Phred's doing ''reversed SMPTE test card plays with a 1000hz tone to download your highscores from noggin.com. test card transitions to a blue window that says "HIGH SCORES/FLOOD CONTROL" with a picture of a CRT kiosk in the top center, with "Downloading" in the center Female Computer Voice: ''High scores downloading. Big Voice: Those are great scores. ''high scores appear, which are just "Eunice" and "Noggginer" over and over again with "bumpercars" near the bottom ''Think '''you '''can beat 'em? Go find the games on noggin.com, and if you get a highscore, we'll put '''your name '''on TV. ''highscores disappear ''Now, back to Phred. screen cuts back to Phred doing weird stuff Phred: Tookateekatookateekateekatow! Tookateekatookateekatickatockatockatockatockatow... morphing screen plays morphing screen gives way to the hexagon/circle pattern again, and we zoom over Noggimation Boy and various Noggin users; While this is happening, we hear chewing noises; At the end, we zoom in to Phred in his living room chewing something, which is the cause of the noises; Phred continues chewing for a few seconds, then the morphing screen plays again morphing screen gives way to the Noggimation Station, Where Noggimation boy is trying to rehearse a cheer Noggimation Boy: Gimme an N!... Gimme an O!... Gimme a G!... Gimme another G!... Gimme a- Phred: Gimme a break! Do you know how long that's gonna take? Just show the Noggimation! Noggimation boy: OK. Incoming! ' Female Computer Voice: ''Noggimation downloaded. Noggimation appears faintly on the Noggimation board Noggimation Boy: You made that! You made that! High 4! High 4!(?) Noggin.com! Gimme an I!... Gimme a G!... Gimme a... A... A... Noggimation disappears Oh, where was I? morphing screen plays morphing screen gives way to the hexagon/circle pattern again, where we see Birthday Boy and then the Skengles before going back to Phred jogging everywhere in his living room Director: ''Ugh, Phred's jogging again. Can somebody please stop him before he breaks the pickle lever? And get him a towel so he's not all sweaty for his next segment. Is there someone on this? Makeup... '''Makeup! '' morphing screen plays morphing screen plays again, this time with one of the Skengles giggling in the background; The screen then transitions to Skengle and Skengle on their spaceship Blue Skengle: Greetings. and Yellow Skengle wave to the screen Please have your brain answer our "poll-icus" at noggin.com so we can seize control! screen transitions to Phred; Phred looks around the room for a moment Phred: Did- Did you just say, "Seize control"? screen transitions back to the Skengles Blue Skengle: Heh-heh, No! We said sneeze 'control. Ah-choo! screen transitions back to Phred Phred: Gesundheit. screen transitions back to the Skengles again Blue Skengle: Log on to noggin.com and answer this "question-icus". presses a button, then the screen moves over to the poll, and the Skengles appear in a circle in the bottom left-hand corner; The poll says, "skengle poll/LIVE @ NOGGIN.COM/question-icus from:/pigpoke, TX" Female Computer Voice: ''Question transmitting. noises play Blue Skengle: Shortly, we will project your "thoughtifications" on TV. Female Computer Voice: ''Now receiving data. '' noises play Blue Skengle: And one day, we ''will "sneeze control"... '' Phred: Off-screen Bless you. morphing screen plays again screen then immediately transitions to a blue pixelated background with "noggin.com" on it, very similar to the one from the intro; The pixels then begin to grow larger and then the screen zooms into the dot in "noggin.com", followed by the same burst of various rapidly zooming blue backgrounds with blue, white and orange-based hexagon and circle-based patterns with the Noggin logo and various stills placed in several circles as before before finally stopping at the hexagon with Phred's living room in it, where Phred is posing with sunglasses Director: Action. Phred: Yo, cats... walks off the screen as he speaks Welcome back to my pad, then begins popping up from different angles as he speaks my dock, my cyber-hood, my homepage, screen zooms out where the username is "Phred" and the password is "Phaboo" screen zooms in and then out as Phred says "Phaboo" with a P-H. Big Voice: ''You're very hip, Phred.'' Phred: Tell me something I 'don't '''know, Big Voice. Big Voice: ''Tempting, but how about I let '''them '''do it? R-r-roll it! TV screen from before appears again, showing various Noggin users telling Phred interesting facts Noggin User #1: Hi, I'm Carolic.(?) Did you know that no matter how hard you try, you can't tickle yourself? Noggin User #2: Monique here. Did you know that when cats are happy, they squeeze their eyes shut? Noggin User #3: What's up, Phred? My name's Eric. Did you know that you can use pinecones to forecast the weather? Its scales will close when rain is on its way. Noggin User #4: Hey, I'm Lucas. Did you know that butterflies taste with their feet? morphing screen, in gray, plays on the TV screen, followed by a blue hexagon that says, "URL" Big Voice: ''So Phred, did they tell you something you '''didn't know?'' Phred: No way, Big Voice. I knew everything they were talking about. Big Voice: Really? Phred: Well... ears and body droop No. un-droops himself But I'm still hip, aren't I? Big Voice: Without question, Phred. You are '''one smooth dude.' Phred: (Chuckles) Thanks, BV. You're pretty fat yourself. Big Voice: ''That's.. "Phat" with a P-H, right? Phred: Eh, no. "Fat" with an "F". You should really try to lay off the onion rings. I'm serious, look at yourself. screen zooms back out to the hexagons and circles, eventually ending up at Phred dancing on a pickle again the usual morphing screen, the mock window pops up again, this time with a different cheering crowd of children Big Voice: Heeeeeeeeeere's Cro! [The morphing screen plays and then the episode of Cro ''plays] morphing screen plays again, this time giving way to Phred's living room, Where Phred is jumping around and making weird noises Phred: Teekatook! Tookateekatock! Tookateekateekatow! Tookateekato... Big Voice: ''Uh... We interrupt... Whatever it is Phred's doing ''reversed SMPTE test card plays with a 1000hz tone to download your highscores from noggin.com. test card transitions to a blue window that says "HIGH SCORES/MUMBO JUMBO" and "Downloading" in the center Female Computer Voice: ''High scores downloading. Big Voice: Those are great scores. ''high scores appear, which are just "monumber1" and "Jessie" over and over again ''Think '''you '''can beat 'em? Go find the games on noggin.com, and if you get a highscore, we'll put '''your name '''on TV. ''highscores disappear ''Now, back to Phred. screen cuts back to Phred doing weird stuff Phred: Tookateekatookateekateekatow! Tookateekatookateekatickatockatockatockatockatow... morphing screen plays the morphing screen, the hexagons and circles appear once again, showing Birthday Boy and the Skengles before ending up at Phred's living room, where Phred is pacing the floor, reciting his grocery list so he won't forget it; During all of this, the director is talking Director: Can I get someone to '''please '''just write down Phred's grocery list for him so he'll stop reciting it over and over again? Phred: Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken... Director: Somebody? Phred: Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken... Director: Anybody? Phred: Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken... Director: Somebody '''please, '''get me a '''pen-CIL!' morphing screen plays again the morphing screen, Phred's living room appears and Phred is standing around, wearing denim shorts and whistling Big Voice: 'PHRED!' flies around the room, and his shorts fly off as well; He falls to the ground Phred: '''AAAAAAAH! 'gets up Big Voice, you scared the pants right off me! begins pacing the floor Big Voice: Good thing a new pair is downloading as we speak! stands in the middle of the room blue hexagon-shaped title bar appears in the bottom-left hand corner, this time saying, "noggin.com/STYLE: BON APPETIT/DESIGNER: PATRICK777" as the computer voice speaks Female Computer Voice: Outfit downloaded. outfit faintly appears on Phred's body Phred: Hey. 'Thanks, kid designer name below. I like this outfit better anyway. Big Voice: ''So do I. Do you think they make it in my size? Phred: ears droop Eh... No. ears un-droop; The outfit and "STYLE: BON APPETIT/DESIGNER: PATRICK777" disappear morphing screen plays again the morphing screen the hexagons and circles show up again, this time displaying the Skengles and the Whats before ending up at Phred in his living room again, this time much closer to the screen than before; While this is happening, the director is speaking Director: OK, time for a tooth check. And... Whats, you look good. OK, Phred. Open up. Say "Aah". screen then zooms in on Phred's mouth and the screen starts shaking Phred: Aaaaaaah... Director: ''Nope, I don't see any cavities. Close your mouth now, Phred. ''continues to say, "Aaaaah" ''Uh... we got a show to do. Phred, '''SHUT IT!'' morphing screen plays again, this time with one of the Skengles giggling in the background; The screen then transitions to Skengle and Skengle on their spaceship; Yellow Skengle is flying around randomly Blue Skengle: Hello, humanoids. It has become clear to us that kids rule this planet. Therefore, to understand our new surroundings, we continually need your thoughts. screen transitions to Phred Phred: You want thoughts? I think 'it's time to show today's poll. Capiche? screen transitions back to the Skengles Blue Skengle: Capiche, "Phred-icus". Here is today's poll. Keep bleeping! presses a button, then the screen moves over to the poll, and the Skengles appear in a circle in the bottom left-hand corner; The poll says, "skengle poll/20%/42%/28%/10%/LIVE @ NOGGIN.COM/question-icus from:/pigpoke, TX" noises play Blue Skengle: Receiving... Inputting... Processing... Interesting. Analyzing...Registering... "Aha-icus"! Female Computer Voice: ''Data transmitted. Blue Skengle: Mmm-hmm... (Hums) morphing screen plays morphing screen gives way to the hexagon/circle pattern again, and we zoom over Noggimation Boy and various Noggin users; While this is happening, we hear chewing noises; At the end, we zoom in to Phred in his living room chewing something, which is the cause of the noises; Phred continues chewing for a few seconds, then the morphing screen plays again the morphing screen, Noggimation Boy shows up again, cheerful as ever Noggimation Boy: 'Whoo-whoooo! '''Noggimation, entering Noggimation Station! Noggimation, choo-choo! screen transitions to Phred, who is standing in his living room, tapping his left foot with an annoyed look on his face Noggimation Boy: AAAAAAAAALL ABOARD! ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD! Female Computer Voice: ''Noggimation downloaded. Noggimation appears, clearer than the last Noggimation Boy: Right on schedule! More! Noggin.com! Keep it coming! Good job! Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga... morphing screen plays once again the morphing screen, the mock computer window shows up again, with the same crowd of children cheering as before Girl in the Crowd: Cro is da bomb! (Cheers) Big Voice: Why, yes he is. [The morphing screen plays to make way for the episode of Cro] the episode sans the morphing screen, we arrive at a blue hexagon that says "URL", as mentioned by the computer voice; This hexagon joins various other hexagons in sliding out of view to make way for Phred's living room, which has every character in it except Birthday Boy Female Computer Voice: U-R-L. Director: OK, is everyone set for goodbyes? Alright, we've got Noggimation Boy... Noggimation Boy: I'm here! I'm right here! Director: Skengles, the Whats... Blue Skengle: Here. Green What: {Wrrnk} Red What: (Honks) Director: Phred? Phred: He-ere! Director: Big Voice? Big Voice: ''Present and accounted for!'' Director: Birthday Boy? Birthday Boy? of the Whats grunts(?) Director: ''Where's Birthday Boy?'' Green What: (Squeaks) Blue Skengle: How unprofessional. Noggimation Boy: This is a nightmare! Boy finally enters the room from the right Birthday Boy: his mouth full (Grunts) Sorry, I kind of left my cake to bake.(?) Phred: Oh, that's OK, Birthday Boy. But please, don't talk with your mouth full, huh? Birthday Boy: Sorry. Noggimation Boy: Hello? Mouth full! Birthday Boy: Right. {Says something unintelligible} Blue Skengle: Uh...(?) Director: Goodbyes, people. Hello-o? Phred: Oh, right. Bye, everyone. Noggimation Boy: Bye! See ya! Big Voice: Goodbye! The Whats: (Grunt) Blue Skengle: See you next time. Phred: Hey, don't forget to check out the URL with Phred Show Studio on noggin.com. We need you- Ewe baas in the background Phred: No, not 'Ewe. '''We need '''you '''to make the show. Arrivederci! Birthday Boy: Bye-bye! berates Birthday Boy for talking with his mouth full Birthday Boy: What? window pops open that says, "sign off/It is now safe to sign off the URL with phred show/OK" Female Computer Voice: ''It is now safe to sign off the URL with Phred Show. Noggimation Boy: '''Mouth! Full! Blue Skengle: Uck! intro plays in reverse, sans the circle/hexagon pattern and startup window End Category:The URL with Phred Show Category:Phred on Your Head Show